At this age you gotta accept that if you want to be with someone, you both still got growing up to do. You either grow together or outgrow each other.
You are drowning yourself by overthinking everything. The next time you find yourself overthinking or beating yourself over something, picture something simple and put no thought into it. Look at the trees moving in the wind or take a moment to look at how beautiful this world is. This world is too beautiful for you to waste your time in unecessary thoughts that are just drowning you.
“what the fuck” is an emotion now and its the only one i have